Unexpected “She needs you” Message During Meditation
There comes a point in your journey when you know it’s time.
Time to quit that job.
Time to end that relationship.
Time to say “enough is enough, no more!”
Time to turn the tables.
Time to level up.
Time to say “fuck that shit.”
Time to take matters into your own hands.
When that time comes, you’ll know what to do. And you’ll have this innate sense of readiness, no matter how hard the task. You’ll just know that it needs to be done, and you’re the only one who can do it.
That’s basically what happened when I was advised to step into the path as a healer. When I was nudged to move “further away from where I grew up.” These ideas were presented and I just said, “OK, then show me the way.”
During meditation, my grandmother appeared and said, “She [my mother] needs you.” Months prior, I knew things were leading up to this moment. That I needed to clear things between us after not speaking to her for 3+ years.
When asked how I was feeling about it, I felt like I was at ease. I did A LOT of inner work to prepare me for this.
Work to help me see things from a wider perspective.
Work to help me understand my familial lineage and the stories I was born into.
Work to help me recognize the difference between someone’s pain, someone’s behaviors and the true essence of human beings.
Work to help me be calm despite my mother’s chaos.
I didn’t know what I was going to say to her. The only words in my head was, “she needs you.” At first, I felt like I needed to draft a whole document with responses for any question or snide remarks she may make. Then I realized I was being defensive.
I pared back and asked, “if this was the last conversation that I had with her, because tomorrow is never promised, what do I really want her to know? What does she need to hear that I’ve held back?”
It came down to these 5 things:
“I love you and I will always have love for you.”
“I’m grateful for the life you’ve given me, for everything you’ve done for me, including the things that have helped and hurt me.”
“I forgive you. I recognize that I, too, made choices, both poor and good, that I’ve had to learn from.”
“I’m very happy in my life right now. I feel like I can make decisions that are best for me.”
“I’m not sure what next steps are or how/if I want to rebuild our mother/daughter relationship, but distance, time and space is really good and necessary for me. Let me be the one to come to you.”
It was raw. Vulnerable. Honest. A heart to heart. She was grateful to hear from me.
This wave of tenderness washed over me. I had so much grief AND gratitude over it all. What I did that night was a testament to my maturity. Knowing that my mother may not choose to change, may not choose to heal, AND I also know that I have power in what our dynamic is like. I only have power in myself. I wouldn’t have been able to recognize all that had I not separated completely from her and her expectations of me.
I wouldn’t be where I’m at today if things back then worked out. I would’ve tried to fit into the person she wanted me to be. I would’ve been stuck in a situation that would’ve killed my soul. And that night, I was so grateful to see the bigger plan of my life come to fruition.
You get to choose to apply whichever meaning that feels right to each experience. There’ll be paradigm shifts as those meanings evolve depending on what you’re ready for.
Every truth that you see, every meaning you get out of it, is exactly what you need and what you’re ready for at that time. Honor where you are in the moment and be open to seeing things from different perspectives.
That’s your authorship. That’s your reclamation of power.
May this week nurture the most tender parts of you. May you feel called to do the thing you know you need to do.