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I Am Afraid Of Nothing.

By February 6, 2017 No Comments

I Am Afraid Of Nothing.
I Am Afraid Of Nothing.
I Am Afraid Of Nothing.
I Am Afraid Of Nothing.IT STARTED FRIDAY MORNING with what felt like an innocent cough that could have been controlled by ample cups of tea and sleeping in on the weekend, but the progression of the day’s sundown mirrored the vitality of my immune system. I realized I probably put my body in jeopardy by doing a back-to-back workout on only four hours of sleep.  This weekend, instead of meeting with all my loved ones and tackling projects as I am used to, I ended up canceling all my plans to overcome a fever and quarantined myself to my bed.

It is rare that I ever find myself sick as this. In fact, I cannot recall the last time I had felt severely sick, perhaps maybe a few years ago. In being forced to stay stuck indoors, I was able to identify another factor in why my health was not up to par: in addition to overworking my poorly rested body, my brain had gotten a little burnt out from stress and added internal pressure (I truly am my greatest and worst critic).

Just recently, I had finally committed to installing internet at home. Prior to last month, I have been living without internet at home for 473 days. THAT’S RIGHT. 1 year, 3 months and 15 days/40,867,200 seconds/681,120 minutes/11,352 hours/473 days/67 weeks and 4 days/129.59% of a common year (365 days)/potentially a minimum of $650 “saved” (averaging $50 cost of internet/month) from living without it for so long. I made this outlandish decision when I determined I wanted to live completely solo, which meant that I had to be very aggressive with my finances in order to understand how much it would take to continue living independently.

A couple of benefits I enjoyed from not having internet at home:


While I did have data to use on my iPhone, access was still limited per my phone plan so with added restriction, I was able to truly unplug once I came home every day. This helped develop and reinforce some habits I knew I would need now. I was able to focus on all the things I would push back because I was constantly working on the computer.


I am not new to working many long hours in a day or a week. There were summers and school breaks where I would commute for four hours of my day. I realized that I was always able to constantly be on the grind just as long as I implemented proper breaks and transitional periods to help offset the constant working of the brain. There have been times when I would leave an office at 7pm knowing that there was still at least 3 more hours of work to do, at home. I have learned that driving is very therapeutic for me (and probably why I never mind commuting in Los Angeles despite the traffic) so during my commutes, I was able to not think about work during that time frame and break myself for a little bit, then easily return to it.

I realized I had to stop thinking about saving money from not having internet, and shift my thinking into how I could be making money through having internet.

Why did I choose to have internet again? 

In order to maintain this website and to pursue some other larger goals and dreams, I realized I had to stop thinking about saving money from not having internet, and shift my thinking into how I could be making money through having internet.

I thought that I would easily begin to enjoy working from home immediately after the installation, but I fell into a short lull where I could not find my center. I realized that there were two things keeping me from focusing: the mental pressure I had put on myself to be even more of a super person because I added internet to my expenses and the inability to transition into working at home again.

After realizing that these two thoughts were weighing heavy on my mind, I was able to put myself at ease by positively addressing what originally were concerns of mine. It turns out that I have been transitioning into work at home very well when I clean, especially when I’m washing dishes with hot water (taking hot showers have always been soothing for me). Unfortunately, it was right after realizing this that I caught a fever!

Now that I am back to living with internet at home, some things I look forward to:

  • Using the online space as a research tool more often
  • Doing more virtual work and earning a second income
  • Discovering more like minded individuals to connect with
  • Expanding the blog more

Forcing myself to relax this weekend reminded me of how it feels to be operating at 100% as opposed to 10%. I have now regained my sense of energy and am positive about the many things I can accomplish. I am afraid of nothing.


Photos: @keepsakethelabel | @sincerelyjules | @stylestructure | @parkncube

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