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Editor’s Letter: The Ex Files

By October 10, 2016 No Comments

Editor's Letter: The Ex FilesEditor's Letter: The Ex Files

Have begun cleaning out things in the bungalow in an effort to start packing, once again, for the move to another place. This time, will be relocating to a little studio right across the street from Pasadena Community College on Colorado Boulevard, and was even told that the Rose Parade runs through the neighborhood. It’s just a few miles away from the bungalow, but more importantly, a strategic move that will help make way for bigger projects in the pipeline.

Amongst the things that have been purged, came across a very peculiar notebook I had not anticipated seeing any time soon, or ever. It was a Parisian themed notebook my
ex-boyfriend had given me for my birthday during our first year together. I intentionally used the notebook to document things specific to him and us and if you have been following along, you may have guessed that most of the things recorded were lists.

Editor's Letter: The Ex Files

The countless creative anniversary gift ideas because at one point, I really believed he was the one.

In that notebook, I kept lots of lists.

It was where I wrote down his favorite sports teams because he was such a sports enthusiast. I could not keep count of every one of them. All the foods he abhorred because his taste palette just was not as cultured as mine. The countless creative anniversary gift ideas because at one point, I really believed he was the one. I kept a list of all the significant dates we went on and when milestones took place because he was my first serious relationship. I marked the many places we visited in an effort to ensure we would not do repeat trips. The birthday and miscellaneous gifts I had already given him to cross off all his highly wanted items like Santa does on Christmas day. The gifts he had given to me because I was too afraid I would forget to recall them as time aged us.

Editor's Letter: The Ex Files

The last two lists are the most heartbreaking. My habitual listography was catching on to him, so together we made a couple of lists to work from. In the same year we parted, we created new year’s resolutions where we identified the things we should do more often together and the things we would be better about, and I actually believed that we could really be better together. And then there was that list we created just before our last anniversary, acknowledging all of our favorite songs that made us think of each other, because our nine-year long history and love for music morphed into what we had so it seemed natural express our romance in tunes.

Although these ex files prove to be useless at this point and into a trashcan they go, I cannot help but write down one more list before the past becomes history.


  • My favorite life-changing book, The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, that I had shared in hopes that your attitude towards your place in life shifted from blame to ownership
  • My most coveted little black dress with the fur trim that I wore one birthday on my very first trip to Perch, a downtown rooftop bar I frequent more often now because it’s always brimming with Jazz

And I could go as far as asking for a piece of innocence and happiness back, but having moved on from where we were, I have no need for any of these items or emotions to be returned. Such petty things to ask for now that all is said and done, but in the end, we all have something we want to get back from our past that holds more sentimental value than old lovers will ever realize. But as C.S. Lewis had once mentioned to a woman who was passing, “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind”…


Photos: @parisinfourmonths (1 & 3) | Park & Cube | @desiresbyus

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