Wednesday, February 1, 2017 | By Rosie Chuong

Why We Do Extreme Things After Breakups

Why We Do Extreme Things After Breakups

Last Saturday, in a two-story restaurant known for elevated Vietnamese cuisine and a decidedly moody and seductive ambiance, I reconnected with an old friend over soft-shell crab spring rolls, shaken beef and passion fruit orange juice over conversation on life in Peru and, unsurprisingly, relationships. I asked about his last relationship and what he learned. It led to a two-year post breakup period dedicated to self-discovery. He kept mentioning adventure and thrill; the common, assumed activities of a newly single.

But there was one particular feat of his that made me embrace why we do such extreme things after breakups. It started with bungee jumping and before he knew it, he agreed to a sky diving excursion with friends. Each party member was just as nervous to take the leap out into the vast blue sky, but that moment JUST BEFORE THE JUMP became a critical point for my friend.

Why We Do Extreme Things After Breakups

Why We Do Extreme Things After Breakups

“It makes me think about everything I’ve done in my life, forcing me to accept all that has happened in the event that I do not land safely,” he confirmed. “That day I saw my friend kissing the ground after he came down.”

The risk of negative consequences for reckless behavior, he assured, was a way to reconfigure the offsetting of a breakup. “I am able to find balance from it,” he declared. It was then that I realized how breakups throw us off, outside of what was once assumed to be a safety net in our lives, and that sudden, drastic changes in our liveliness help us reconnect to some form of normality after a relationship. Or even establish new connections. Perhaps dramatic shifts can be refreshing for our perspectives. As they say, out with the old and in with the new…

Eternally,
Rosie Chuong

 

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